(25/12/25-04/01/26) Vipassana is always hard. This time I met this guy, my Shadow from 2018.
He was an alcoholic, full of pride, full of rage and fire. He made everyone around him miserable. He finally got what he deserved on the 22nd of October 2018, a heart attack like GERD.
That guy definitely have caused a lot of unhappiness and problems in my life. And the fruit of the problems has lasted till now. Karma. I am the heir of my own actions.
That guy battled GERD for years. I talk to this Shadow for a long time. He was extremely miserable and unhappy, but no one could see that. He was never evil, just full of confusion and anxiety. His ignorance is the source of all misery for him and the people around him.
He liked mindfulness and Buddhism, but never made it a practice, only an intellectual entertainment.
Finally on the 6th of Feb 2020, he got what it takes to do his first Vipassana. 10 days that changed him forever. His GERD got cured miraculously after the 10th day. His psychosomatic problems are becoming less and less. His habit energy transformed. He lost 17kg and keep getting stronger year after year, both mentally and physically.
His misery becomes mud for the lotus to grow. Now the Dharma is alive through practice.
The first Vipassana is always the hardest because that is when we meet our own demons and monsters face to face. All those unprocessed feelings and memories.
This is the 7th time I have done Vipassana now. I would say this year is the second hardest since the first, from the turbulence that is happening in my life currently, but I am grateful I am equipped with all the consistent practice I do every day for the last 7 years.
I am forever thankful to that sick and guilt-ridden Shadow that finally took what is necessary to complete his first Vipassana. Now you can die peacefully, dear Shadow. Let's celebrate your death, and the death of us that is happening from moment to moment. The post-Vipassana smile that bloomed on the guy on the last slide is all because of you.
Everything is only from observing the breath.
PS: the nun's last msg to me: stop thinking while meditating! 😆
