Dharma artinya macam-macam. Arti paling umumnya adalah kebaikan. Ada juga yang artinya adalah ajaran kebaikan (dari Sang Buddha atau dari para resi dan orang suci Hindu). Namun arti yang lebih luas dari Dharma adalah kenyataan. Kenyataan yang ada di dalam diri dan kenyataan yang berada di luar diri. Kadang saya juga bingung apa batas kenyataan di dalam diri dan di luar. Yang membedakan hanya kulit yang tipis ini? Batas antara dunia di dalam dan dunia di luar?
Bangun pagi dengan rasa damai dan tidak terburu-buru adalah dharma. Melihat kenyataan apa adanya. Kegiatan pagi yang sepintas terasa terulang setiap hari, tapi sebenarnya tidak pernah sama. Setiap hari selalu berubah.
Bagi kita yang menjalani mungkin terasa selalu sama seperti Groundhog Day dan kadang membuat batin gerah dan mengeluh. Seperti pakde Putra yang dulu setiap hari harus bangun pagi dan siap-siap, mengantar Samudra ke TK. Rasanya capek sekali bangun pagi dan buru-buru ke sekolah. Tapi sekarang banyak rasa menyesal karena dulu tidak bisa 100% hadir dalam kenyataan, dalam Dharma. Dulu selalu berpikir gimana selanjutnya, kapan meeting, kapan shooting, kapan dapat project berikutnya. Malah menikmati pagi seutuhnya tidak bisa. Padahal masa TK Samudra hanya terjadi satu kali. Kadang berandai, jika dulu sudah benar-benar praktek Dharma mungkin masa depan dan masa lalu yang sudah dilewati ini berubah.
Senang sekali melihat Putri, Rio & Kirana pagi-pagi bisa lebih tenang, tidak diburu waktu dan kemacetan. Ada waktu untuk bangun perlahan, makan & mandi tidak diburu-buru, masih bisa main dan baca buku dulu. Sedangkan papa Agung sudah berangkat kerja jam 5.30 saat pakde Putra masih tidur di sofa.
Memang bagi orang-orang yang berjarak dengan kenyataan sehari-hari kita sendiri, rasanya waktu berjalan terlalu cepat. “Eh, Samudra sudah besar! Tidak terasa!” sepertinya makin relevan saya rasakan. Waktu berjalan terlalu cepat. Tiba-tiba Kirana sudah bisa jalan! Sedangkan sepertinya baru kemarin aku lulus SMA. Mungkin memang artinya sekarang makin tua.
Nikon FE · Fuji 400 & Portra 160
Morning Dharma
Originally written in Bahasa Indonesia
Dharma has many meanings. The most common one is goodness. It can also mean the teaching of goodness (from the Buddha, or from Hindu sages and holy people). But in a wider sense, Dharma means reality. The reality inside us, and the reality outside us. Sometimes I am also confused about where the line is between the reality inside and the reality outside. Is it only this thin skin that separates them? The border between the world inside and the world outside?
Waking up in the morning feeling calm and not in a hurry is dharma. Seeing reality as it is. Morning routines look like they repeat every day, but they are never really the same. Every day is always changing.
For those of us living it, every day may feel the same, like Groundhog Day, and sometimes it makes the mind restless and full of complaints. Like Pakde (uncle) Putra, who used to wake up early every day, get ready, and take Samudra to kindergarten. It felt so tiring to wake up early and rush to school. But now I have a lot of regret, because back then I could not be 100% present in reality, in the Dharma. I was always thinking about what came next: when is the meeting, when is the shoot, when will the next project come. I could not even enjoy the morning fully. And Samudra's kindergarten years only happen once. Sometimes I imagine: if I had really practised the Dharma back then, maybe the future, and the past I have already lived through, would have been different.
It makes me very happy to see Putri, Rio & Kirana have calmer mornings, not chased by time and traffic. There is time to wake up slowly, to eat and bathe without rushing, and still play and read a book first. Meanwhile papa Agung had already left for work at 5.30, while Pakde Putra was still asleep on the sofa.
For people who live at a distance from our own daily reality, time really seems to move too fast. “Oh, Samudra is so big now! Time flies!” feels more and more true to me. Time moves too fast. Suddenly Kirana can walk! And it feels like I only finished high school yesterday. Maybe it just means I am getting older.
Nikon FE · Fuji 400 & Portra 160


















